When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
