Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
zippers are such a cool invention
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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