Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
