dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
