im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
