"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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