the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize