I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
