I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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