Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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