please come you make the beer taste better
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
