She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
