you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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