He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
