I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
