she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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