i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
