at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
