just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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