His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
