Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
