that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
