I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
