Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your penis caused this!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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