That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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