They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
