Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
