I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
