I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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