I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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