i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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