I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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