My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize