I bet he comes in French.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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