I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
