I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
