i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
