I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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