But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
