I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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