So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
