She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
