'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
