Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
MIDGETS
????
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
