so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
