I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
