glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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