Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
