whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
