I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
