Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
its liver damage thursday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
